Guide to Pleasure Your Woman

She's saying, "if you really want to pleasure your woman, you might want to consider these things that I and many other women agree upon." And if you do start caring about sex as a shared experience to pleasure both parties, I guarantee she'll be happier pleasing you.

In connection to this article: 40 Mistakes Men Make

1) NOT KISSING FIRST. kissing lips should be a given, but guys, I love it when the nape of my neck, my thighs, my chest, my back and my wrist and inside of my elbow are kissed. Take your time. Wet doesn't always mean I'm raring to go!

5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Owwwwwww. I've gotten bruises that hurt for weeks. Light nibbling when I am really into it is enjoyable, but not for ALL women. Test the waters but if she seems uncomfortable, STOP!

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Not a big deal if both parties are mature and can chuckle about it.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. One of the male commenters said if you have to wear a condom, she should be willing to wear a diaphragm. Oh some people are so stupid. Women have to make an appointment to be fitted for a diaphragm, using the diaphragm increases your risk for urinary tract and yeast infections, it can be difficult to insert, it does not protect against HPV (which can cause cervical cancer) and the woman must leave it in for 6-8 hours after the man has ejaculated. If don't think this is inconvenient (to put it mildly) you are an IDIOT! I repeat, idiot.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. I have more of a problem with men IGNORING the clitoris! Most women can not climax without clitoral stimulation. If you don't care about a woman climaxing, like many of the commenters, why are you on this site?
(http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/orgasmtrouble.htm)

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Same with interrupting you rhythm. If you are performing oral sex on a woman or simply stroking her clitoris, her moans (hopefully of pleasure) DO NOT mean speed up or change what you doing. It means continue what you are doing, you're doing it right, if you stop or change, I'm not going to get off.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. Vagina's aren't a pleasure tunnel of endless lubrication. I have one word for you men, FRICTION. For all you "marathon men" out there, on average most women enjoy sex to last around 13 minutes.
(http://scienceblog.com/cms/good-sexual-intercourse-lasts-minutes-not-hours-15765.html)

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. If you have to ask, I might just lie to you so you finish up because I doubt you will ever get me to come.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. ha. ha. ha. If you think I am going to go down on you from you pushing my head toward your penis, you are wrong. If you do somehow force a woman (literally) to give you oral by doing this, it is probably a begrudging blow job. Want her to be enthusiastic about it? Want her to WANT to do it? Shave, trim, wash, and above all BE RESPECTFUL!

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. unless you subsist on a diet of pineapple and celery, DENY IT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT BUT IT WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Do not touch my head when giving you oral. If you question this, try shoving a Popsicle (if it only tasted like a popsicle...) into the back of your throat. Ahh, now you understand.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Don't touch her anus unless you have discussed that she desires you to.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. Be a man, get her off.

40) THANKING HER. Maybe if she is a prostitute, you can thank her. Even then, it's a maybe. Hopefully she's not.