TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal! To kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Budget falls short of expectations, says India Inc
The budget has failed to meet the expectations of India Inc. The abolition of the FBT was broadly welcomed but the hike in MAT and the extension of the STPI benefits by just one year disappointed many.

PC Kapoor of Bharati Shipyard
"I am disappointed with the budget. The shipping & shipbuilding industry generates a lot of revenues & employment. But it finds no mention of the sector in the budget."

Pawan Goenka, president of automotive business, M&M
"I am hugely disappointed by no change in excise differential for vehicles. I am also disappointed that excise surcharge of Rs 15,000 not rolled back."
More...

She is a woman

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her

Tata Motors to introduce Air Car

Tata Motors is taking giant strides and making history for itself. First the Landrover-Jaguar deal, then the world's cheapest car and now it is also set to introduce the car that runs on air, compressed air to be specific.

With fuel prices touching nearly $150 per barrel, it is about time we heard some breakthrough!
India's largest automaker Tata Motors is set to start producing the world's first commercial air-powered vehicle. The Air Car, developed by ex-Formula One engineer Guy Nègre for Luxembourg-based MDI, uses compressed air, as opposed to the gas-and-oxygen explosions of internal-combustion models, to push its engine's pistons. Some 6000 zero-emissions Air Cars are scheduled to hit Indian streets by August of 2009.

A Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

jisne humko chaha

jisne humko chaha, use hum chaha na sake,
jisko chaha usae hum pa na sake,
yeh samaj lo dil tutne ka khel hai,
kisi ka toda aur apna bacha na sake.

............. ......... ......... ......... .......

Hansi bhi mili aur khusi bhi mili,
socha bahot khushnaseeb hai hum,
magar jab apne pyare dost ko ek muskurahat nahi de sake,
tab pata chala kitne GARIB hai hum.

Once an old man was traveling by train on a pilgrimage to Brindavan. At night, whilst he was asleep, his wallet fell from his pocket. A co-passenger found it the next morning and enquired as to whom the wallet belonged. The old man said it was his. A picture of Sri Krishna inside the wallet was proof that the wallet really belonged to him.

The old man then began to relate the story of the wallet. He soon had a group of eager listeners around him. Lifting up the purse for all to see, the old man said: This purse has a long history behind it. My father gave it to me years ago when I was a mere schoolboy. I kept my little pocket money in it and also a photograph of my parents.

Years passed. I grew up and began studying at university. Like every youth, I became conscious of my appearance. I replaced my parents' photograph with that of my own and I would look at it often. I had become my own admirer.

No marriage plans for the next 10 years

She was rumoured to be dating Shahid Kapoor and then Hurman Baweja. But there is no one 'special' in her life right now and she won't think about marriage for the next 10 years, says actress Amrita Rao, who is all set to don a glamorous avatar in 'Short Kut'. It looks like
past. We take a look at some of the recent and most prominent ones:

I'm not getting married for the next 10 years. I don't have anyone special in my life at the moment and my complete focus is on my work,' Amrita told IANS over phone from Mumbai. The 28-year-old entered the Hindi film industry seven years ago with 'Ab Ke Baras'.

Synopsis:

Bizarre has a new meaning and it's called KAMBAKKHT ISHQ.

Of late, Akshay Kumar has earned the reputation of making you laugh in film after film. You expect KAMBAKKHT ISHQ, his new outing, to transport you to ha-ha-land, given the smart-n-chic promos of the film.

KAMBAKKHT ISHQ belongs to the same family of films which have wooed the masses, such as MUJHSE SHAADI KAROGI, WELCOME, SINGH IS KINNG and GOLMAAL RETURNS. The prime motive is to entertain you for the next 2 hours, logic be damned.

Yet, KAMBAKKHT ISHQ is different because it depicts the battle of the sexes, a theme that's rarely depicted on the Hindi screen. The lingo is poles apart, so is the attitude. In fact, this is a modern take on relationships, with the two hours divided between laughter and emotions, frivolous and reality.