1) You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
2) At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
3) A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
A LESSON ON HOW TO SUC-SEED, FROM MOTHER NATURE
Two seeds lay side by side in the fertile spring soil.
The first seed said, "I want to grow! I want to send my roots deep into the soil beneath me, thrusting my sprouts through the earth's crust above me. I want to unfurl my tender buds like banners, to announce the arrival of spring. I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the blessing of the morning dew on my petals!" And so the seed grew.
When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Asked Me: "What Is It?"
When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Blushed.. U Look Down And Smile..
When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder And Hold My Hand.. Afraid That I Might Dissapear..
When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Prepare Breakfast And Serve It In Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead N
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Want to propose a girl - Just do it. (Nike)
Before going to propose to a girl - Believe in the best. (BPL)
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl - Vicks ki goli lo kichkich door karo. (Vicks)
If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are>-50-50. (Britannia)
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her - Take it easy. (Limca)
Those who succeed in love always say - We dream because we do. (Daewoo)
There was once this guy who was very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then ...Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regain his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.
Once you accept someone for who and what they really are, they will surprise you by being better than you ever expected.
LOVE is loving/accepting a person with all his/her strength and weaknesses.
Find time to realize that there is one person who mean so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.
Love is seeing yourself through someone's eyes and finding yourself in somebody's heart.
To LOVE means to act with the hightest good of the other person in mind.
There is the love of mothers and fathers for their children: this is sacrificial love.
There is the love of brothers and sisters for each other: this is protective love.
There is the love of a husband and wife for each other: this is sexual love, but it is also sacrificial and protective, and it only functions in an atmosphere of total committment.
Arjun is disillusioned & Krishna trying to clear that disillusionment...
Krishna : Try to respect the e-mails of your elders, Arjun.
Arjun : But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honorable elders who are logged on honorable domain?
Krishna : Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.
What is the definition of an engineer?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.
When does a person decide to become an engineer?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
What do engineers use for birth control?
Their personalities.
How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
He looks at your shoes, when he's talking to you, rather than his own.