Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that
while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I'm not a complete idiot, there're still some parts missing!

Forgive your enemies but remember their names

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father.
He said he wanted more proof.

Some pain is physical and some is mental, but one that's both is dental.

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Life is a Grammar. Your past is never perfect, and future is always tense.