Happy Diwali

It's the "Festival of Lights" today,
It's again the day of Diwali,
It's time to dress up folks,
It's time to adorn the thali.

It's the occasion to throng the temples,
Pray to the Gods and give them offerings,
It's an opportunity to entreat the deities,
To bless us all and rid us of sufferings.

It's the day to light the diyas,
Ignite the rockets and burst crackers,

That's only 53 years ago!

'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2, 000.00 will only buy a used one.

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. 25 cents a pack is ridiculous.

The Best of Financial Meltdown jokes from the BBC

1. How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday

2. What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start

Two Gay Guys are walking through a zoo... They come across the gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by....

This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, Waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, Checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed," she replied.

Keep off our grass: Council warns pensioner who tends verge outside his home to stop because it's too TIDY

Brian Hubbard has been banned from gardening a council-owned verge outside his home because it's too tidy

It might be public land, but Brian Hubbard treats the grass verge outside his home as proudly as his own garden.

The desperateness to clear outstanding debts has seen the increase in identity thefts in many countries. The major reason being rise in the use of internet banking and using online credit cards in unsecured website. It is recommended not disclose account information on the internet especially if the site is not SSL secured.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...Any part under a car's hood.
Male.....The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female...Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.....Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n.
Female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

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