'Hello?'

'Hi honey. This is Daddy.

Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

After a brief pause,

Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'

Brief Pause.

The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The first pupil said: Tylenol?

Very good! And what is it used for?

It is used for headache.

The second pupil said: Nytol

Excellent. And what it is used for?

To help you sleep

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: Viagra

Johnny. What is it used for?

This was developed as an age test by the R&D Department at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line out loud without a mistake. The average person can't do it! This is really difficult, not so easy, so be careful.

1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is a cat
7. This is fool cat

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

ISMS-Logical Access Control Lighter side of
Poems........To make U Smile

Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you.. should be kept in the zoo.

Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you...

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

Yes or NO? It's all the same!

Fill these blanks with YES or NO

............., I don't have a brain.
............., I don't have sense.
............., I am stupid.

There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home.
When they got there, he whips out his manhood and asks "What's this?"
She replies "A cock."

He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough. A couple of weeks later he meets another gal and soon takes her home. Again, he pulls out his manhood and asks the question.
She replies, "A cock".