The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care rep hain...

Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.

Certified that Mr./Miss _________________ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

An old farmer decided to visit a pond in the back of his property that he had  not visited in a long time. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and  laughing.

As he came closer, he discovered a bunch of young women were skinny dipping in his pond. He politely made the women aware of his presence, and soon they all  moved to the deep end of the pond.

Here is the reason.
 
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
 
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
 

HER DIARY

Sunday night I thought he was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

A Woman's Secret .. and her Prayer
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.

They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover....

Arjun is disillusioned & Krishna trying to clear that disillusionment...
Krishna : Try to respect the e-mails of your elders, Arjun.

Arjun : But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honorable elders who are logged on honorable domain?
Krishna : Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.