Jokes

Income Tax Dept !

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a Ruppe coin.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a Tea stall in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Tea cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, she hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the Tea stall without saying a word.

Birthday joke

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"

She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got herup bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride inthe park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a goon every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later,her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn,cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed intobed.

SANTA BANTA ONE MORE TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa.
Banta shouts: What’s this?
Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha ‘Serve hot without dressing’

Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

Santa Babta Jokes

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hoon!

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Comments : What If Titanic sank Today?

Reaction from different countries:

************ **

U.S.A:

"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists. We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson. Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."

(Former US President Bush........ whoelse?)

************ **

U.K:

Doing It Like Rabbits!

Doing It Like Rabbits!

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. 'Wow, this is great,' he thought.

Software Roles in Heaven!

Name of the God Roles and Responsibilities

============== =====================

Brahma >>>>>>>>>> Systems Installation

Vishnu >>>>>>>>>> Systems Administration & Support

Lakshmi >>>>>>>>>> Finance and Accounts consultant

Saraswati >>>>>>>>>> Training and Knowledge Management

Is BUS......... .male or female?

Is BUS......... .male or female?

There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),

With a genius boy ( Bablu ) and a smart one (Pappu).

The dialogue between the two and the teacher goes something like this:

Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?

Teacher : Thinking..... ...

Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"

Bablu : "Kyon?"

Sarge Joke

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Sardar painting the porch

A Sardar, recently arrived in the US, wanting to earn some money, decides to become a 'handy-man' and starts looking for some work in an up market colony nearby.

He goes to the front door of the nearest house and asks the owner, another Indian, if he had any odd jobs for him to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch, how much will you charge?" the owner says.