A software engineer wrote:

Subject: Failed Upgrade

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drink 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

Finally - an explanation of Woman that makes sense to a man!

Element: Woman

Symbol: WO+  

Discoverer: Adam Edenwarden  

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, isotopes vary from 40 - 200 kg  

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas  

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with thin film of make-up.

2. Boils at room temperature.

3. Freezes without any known reason.

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew he meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . 

About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!!

Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .

Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.