A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop. He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus.

Story I

E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.

Story II

E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?

eXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules: Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1) Crying is blackmail.
1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!

1. A beer is always wet, a woman isn't.
1 point for beer!

2. Beer is horrible when it is hot.
1 point for women!

3. A cold beer satisfies you.
1 point for beer!

4 . If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again.

A seven year-old daughter came home from school one day, held up her middle finger, and asked Mom what it meant. Mom was so shocked that she could just say that "Shame on you" and raised the middle finger repeat, followed by advise that "If anyone does that to you, just say, 'Shame on you' to that person."

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and verything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her privates.

He asks her what it is and she embarrassed replies, 'Oh, that's mommy's black sponge.'

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, 'Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!'

She replies, 'I lost it, honey.'

A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come home from a social engagement when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face.

"Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!"

His mother turned red and said to her husband, "He's your son. You talk to him". Then she left the room.