How to Be a Great Husband

Ragini Khanna Feb 3, 2010

The most challenging and rewarding things you'll ever do...A woman needs to feel as though she is the Love of your life.

Steps

1. Choose a great wife carefully. Then...
2. Tell her you love her when you hang up the phone with her, leave her, and generally as much as possible without being annoying or cheapening the phrase. You never know when your time is up so always remember to make sure she knows how much you love her!
3. Always greet your wife with a hug and kiss that says that you're happy to see her and do the same when you leave her to say you will miss her.
4. Be her greatest supporter. Be someone she knows that she can always count on. Be there for her when she has had a long day. Listen to her with attentive eyes and ears. Back her up "100" percent! Be prepared to talk with her about how she feels, (and, yes, how you feel, too).

5. Talk to her about things that interest you, too - don't worry too much that she'll be bored - she'll be thrilled that you want to share your hobbies with her. If possible, try to find an aspect of your interest that she can join in with (if she doesn't already). The efforts you make to help her enjoy what you enjoy will pay off enormously!
6. Nurture your wife. Little things go a long way! For example, making breakfast, making her coffee/cocoa, giving her back rubs - anything to make her feel comfy and loved. Mutual service promotes mutual respect.
7. Give her space. Let's face it, we can't be face to face 24 hours a day. We all need our alone time, even if it's for just 10 minutes, if you give her that respect, she will do the same for you but on the flipside always make sure you give her enough time alone with you. Most relationships call for at least 2 times a week having a few hours together alone.
8. Understand that your personal relationship, aside from any children, should be more important to you than your other family members, work etc. Treat her as such. If you're worried about looking independent in front of them, then talk with your wife and set clear expectations about what decisions you can make without each other, and what decisions must absolutely be discussed. But also, ask yourself why you feel you should look independent instead of married. It may not be hard to say "Let me talk this over with my other half".
9. Wash the dishes- use the power tools together.
10. Don't show her even the mildest forms of contempt. Contempt is poison in a relationship. You don't have to act like you like what she said or did, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling.
11. Be honest! Nothing will destroy a relationship faster than dishonesty. Even if its a little lie, or not telling her where you're going, or that you're going at all it really causes disconnection. You both feel it. SO just don't lie. ALWAYS tell her the truth.

Tips

  • When she's upset, listen, listen, listen. Resist the urge to offer advice unless she asks for it, and don't get defensive. Just listen, and show her that you are trying to understand.
  • Husbands and Wives live together but make sure you spend enough time on her turf as you do your own. Make her see that wherever you are you feel like home when you are with her.
  • Women love a home-cooked meal. Find your inner Jacques P├ępin.
  • Offer your wife a massage (or foot rub, or back scratch...) when she's had a bad day.
  • PRAISE your wife in public, but if you notice something you'd like to criticise, please FIND a PRIVATE moment.In public make sure everyone around you knows she is your girl!Hold hands whenever possible, kiss, hug, a tap on the butt. To her you are letting everyone know your off the market
  • A nice romantic gesture goes a long way! Even if it's a little love note to start the day. Light some candles, run a hot bath, wash her hair. These are just a few ideas.
  • Be aware that she may not perceive love the SAME way you do. Quality Time, Gifts, Physical Touch, Verbal Affirmation, and Acts of Service are the different "Love Languages" you and your wife might have -- make sure you find out what hers is, and speak her "love language"!
  • Show up at her work or home with just a flower or two this will brighten her day and you will make her feel like she is the most important woman in the world.

Warnings

  • Discuss your values together and make sure that they are compatible before doing something permanent.
  • Discuss your financial dreams together and research and plan to achieve them together.
  • Make sure that you both continue to grow and change; you may drift apart, but you may also become a better and more exciting person with each growth spurt you undergo.
  • Continue spending time with her alone and cherishing her.
  • Make sure you tell her you find her attractive and why. Discuss her strengths.
  • Never sneak around whether it be on your home/cell phones or out in every day life, giving your attentions to another woman. If you'd like an open relationship, discuss it with her first, so she should have part in what she wants for herself; she may agree or disagree!
  • Avoid petty put-downs.
  • Never stop trying to sweep her off her feet.
  • If your wife is ever missing something in the emotional department, not getting affection, words of love, emotion from you then she may be vulnerable to a man who offers any or all of those things!