1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which your rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs.When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts?
Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good.Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them someattention.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there,keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.
18) GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly,with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD. you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has somethi ng to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this.It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.
Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputatio n for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES. is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY. makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.Women, You should forward this to all your boyfriends/husbands foruninterrupted PLEASURE !!!
- 0 points
Replies
good effort.
good effort.
lets make it better!!
lets make it better!!
Very nice Article.
It's make u laugh when you read all these 40 mistakes...veri nice sahayakiran
This article makes it seem
This article makes it seem like it's all about women's pleasure in the game.
It's not; if you need to move around during fellatio, move around - just don't choke her...
If she can't take it she'll tell you and If there's no compromis she's just not doing it right. She'll cry and you'll have a sloppy half-hard dick yearning to continue, that's a lot of shit to take at once my man. Be gentle, be a man, but don't forget who you are and what you want.
Very silly article.
Not much content though. The vast majority of this is cliche, the rest is from the perspective of the author. You can't classify all women into one giant category. Some women love the idea of being photographed naked, and care not what you do with the photos (or even perhaps want you to show them off to your friends). Don't thrust during oral sex? Head bobbing gets tiring, sometimes she just wants to hold her position and have him do the work. Not warning her before you climax? If she's paying attention and you're ... semi-vocal during sex, there's really no need to break out the bullhorn.
This article lacks multiple perspectives. I'm sure there's some women who will agree with this, but not all, probably not even most. Know the subject matter a bit better before professing about it.
Wow, what do you do for the
Wow, what do you do for the man? Bitch all night.
my wife is having pain after i come an she does not come
my wife is having pain after i come an she does not come what can i do that mite help us
and she said it feels lick pain in the ovarys
Hmm Personally I Don't FULLY
Hmm
Personally I Don't FULLY Agree With ALL The Points
Like The Going To Hard etc
Poor Guys
Id Never Show My Boyfriend This
What An Insult
clueless?
Sounds like this was written by your typical "you do all the work, I just want to lay here and enjoy it" woman. Intruction manual? Oh please...
Men like anal stimulation because they have a prostate? I've had I don't know how many women get off on it and request me to give stimulation\penetration there. Just because you are a prude and have no interests besides missionary doesn't mean the rest of the female world is that way.
Wow, talk about not doing your research...
hmmm
Is this a serious article?
I was dieing of laughter with the 4th one, lol.
Where are you getting your information from anyway? Did you watch people having sex? Did you interview people? Is it just personal experience?
Referring back to the 4th point. Many girls like to have the breasts squeezed and squeezed hard. Some don't like it at all. Do you want to know why? It's because all women are different, they all experience the same thing in a different way.
HAHAHAHA, this really can't be a serious article. Has to be some joke, maybe an April fools joke a few months to early.
I can add a few to this.
1. Don't expect your current partner to perform like an ex girlfriend who was multiorgasmic and could get off at the drop of a hat, or liked kinky things like figurines up her privates.
2. Don't bite our vaginas during oral sex, or suck our nipples so hard you leave permanent bruises. It also hurts like HELL!!!
3. Don't expect us to swallow unless we say it's ok.
4. Don't pound on us in doggy style or with our legs up over your shoulders and expect it to feel good. This also, hurts like hell for some women because it's like a knife hitting our cervix.
5. Please get rid of zits, hair and warts on your balls before you expect us to suck on them. Running my tongue over these nasty things in the dark with no warning is NOT aesthetically pleasing.
6. Don't tell me I kiss like a little girl because my lips are naturally thin and narrow.
7. Don't say, "it took you long enough." after you get off from me performing oral on you.
8. Don't expect me to lick your butthole. It's just gross.
9. Please be courteous and give me a towel to wipe off, not just yourself.
10. Don't expect me to suck your dick after you've put it in my nether regions.
11. Don't ignore me when I tell you how I want you to do something and then complain that I had to use my vibrator.
BS
Pretty silly, not that helpful. The author obviously thinks that she speaks for every woman. There are no women that are into beards? someone notify my girlfriend! No women like extreme nipple play? again send my girl an email
I could object to each one but I won't just one more for all you empowered self aware independent women. #38 not caring if she comes! What a joke. If a women gets frisky and gets you hard and then leaves, is that not the same thing? What if she doesn't know how to come. The orgasm is yours take it, don't expect someone else to do the work for you. If it takes you 4 hours to come then express your concerns and see what he can do to help. But if you are unaware on how to derive personal pleasure from sex, don't blame it on him.
Men - are you not tired of hearing about this? Don't feel bad because you know how to get off and your woman doesn't, why should we be the object of attack simply because a woman can't bring HERSELF to orgasm.
Women - #38 is as much your problem as it is ours. I'll refer to the condom. Technically both people benifit from its use, buck up and throw it out yourself bitch!
This is just a bunch of male bashing. Sorry I wasted time here.
Berzerker
With wankers like you in the world I think "male bashing" as you put it is rather warented. Get with the 21st century you neanderthal!!!
I think the content of this
I think the content of this article, like many of the comments, is indicative of larger issues that are being ignored and unaddressed. The author omitted the single-most important element of interaction between two people, and the truly only significant point worth mentioning to make this kind of article worth any stranger's time: communication. Poor communication is clearly at the core of the "mistakes" outlined in the article, and the frustration the author is expressing about her/his encounters with a specific individual(s). This article is not meant to be helpful others, but was written in an attempt by the author to unload the dissatisfaction and unexpressed feelings accumulated from specific situations, that at the time of writing had yet to be resolved.
It should be apparent to any reasonable, rational, and mature adult who is capable of critical thinking, that these catch-all lists of common mistakes made between two partners in their sexual activity, are judgments based solely on the experiences of ONE individual. The author isn't wrong to have these opinions, but wrong to make a blanket statement and further, to use it as the title of the article, suggesting that these opinions can be applied to all men and women and their sexual encounters. As stated in some of the previous comments, yes, this article is insulting, but only inasmuch as it ignores the fact that every person is unique and has different preferences for what they consider enjoyable or not. Anyone who takes the content of this article seriously enough to try and apply it to their own sex life can only be deemed inexperienced and naive - this includes the author.
I will refrain from attacking the author's disregard for appearing intelligent in her ignorance of correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
You know, these types of
You know, these types of gripes are kinda funny. It just goes to show how bitter people want to be about sex. If a person, man or woman, can't confront their partners or even discuss it to a level where progress is made, then they ought to stick with their hand/vibrator because they are either too bitter or picky to be satisfied with actual sex.
My girlfriend and I always talk about what we like, and I'm always asking her what I can do better, and she asks me the same. We want to please eachother.
However, this article makes it sound like its the man's job to do the pleasing only. I think not. You think we men don't have complaints about things that you women do or do not do? It always seems like we have to know exactly how to please a woman, but she doesn't have to know jack about pleasing us... Eh, who in the heck cares about pleasing us men.
But that isn't true at all. Most reasonable women don't fall into this category and are willing to discuss it with their partners instead of griping about it; which solves nothing. Nobody is a super star in the bedroom.
But of course, there is a consideration to take into effect when thinking of why communication in this case would be ineffective. It would be ineffective if this were a one time deal (hence one night stand) where the involved parties are never going to see each other again so there is no learning curve. After all one slut expects another slut (male slut) to be experienced since they're sleeping around with just about every other slut available. Sluts just want to F*ck.. they don't want to talk about it. Maybe sticking to one partner would help the communication part a bit... Otherwise... I wouldn't expect any of the local sluts to know exactly what pleases you.
You could always send out a pre-intercourse briefing, though. It might help.
Guys-- i am a girl and i
Guys-- i am a girl and i can understand almost all of these points. And no- i am not a 'prude', i partake in many so-called 'taboo' practices and am able to communicate with my partners.
I have to agree with the majority of this post *WITH THE FOLLOWING IN MIND*:
"It's not WHAT you do- it's the WAY that you do it."
Yes i like 'extreme nipple play'- but not squeezed and twisted leaving them +/- hanging off squirting blood everywhere, or my titties squeezed so hard i have black bruises for weeks (giving no sexual pleasure, just 'ouch')- there's many ways to skin a cat.
Try to be aware of the person you are with and their state of mind, so, pick your moments.
And you guys on this post- quit being so defensive.
Thanks for the useless
Thanks for the useless advice. Dont chew on womens nipples....i'd seriously never have known that!!! you sir are a genius
Not all true...but cum in ya face????
HAHA.....at the end of the day some just dont have a clue (of course this does not mean all men). I def agree some blokes really do think you enjoy the same treatment as a porn star...these women get paid and will do anything to earn a bit! Dont know what makes some fellas think a woman would enjoy spunk in their face and in their eyeball if they dont aim straight! Sort it out! also I think is disrespectful :o)
However I do agree with it takes two to tango! and effort on both parts.
SEX
ALL PEOPLE WANT IS SEX SO GIVE IT TO THEM. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES IS PLEASURE SEX. YOU WANT SEX YOU DO IT PROPERLY AND HAVE PLEASURE IT AINT ROCKET SCIENCE.... DUUHHHHHHH!!!!
I would like to thank you
I would like to thank you for posting what you feel. Hey I'm even going to leave it on the screen so my dude can read it!!! LMAO!!!! Finally, someone understands!!
For Real?
hahahah got em (SEX) .... I don't need a Fcuking manual to tell me how to have sex and I am sure 80% of the population doesn't either! Respect your partner and learn from experience EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT especially those prude Bi%#es :-> ahahhaha
Well... let me take a
Well... let me take a breath. It's been a very interesting reading for me. I'll be honest with you, about 20 or more of these mistakes fit my experiences and if I squash my brain a little harder I think I could find even more mistakes that you didn't listed here. Anyway, I guess it's time to get that Blu-ray porn I've been keeping an eye on for a while as an inspiration with the risk of getting kicked out of the house by my wife. After all, I am doing all this for her good so that would mean I am altruistic, right?
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