How do you get a man on the roof?

Tell him the beers on the house.

Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

A. A dog is always happy to see you

B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train

What did God say after creating man?

I can do better.

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?

He had it bronzed.

How do men sort their laundry?

"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

What is the thinnest book in the world?

"What men know about women."

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

What is a man's idea of doing housework?

Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomach every time they see a bikini.

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

A. No mind.

B. No business.

Why do bachelors like smart women?

Opposites Attract.

Why are men like commercials?

You can't believe a word they say.

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. . .

Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manual."

Why do men prefer blondes?

Men always like intellectual company