Humor: for those over 50 years: question & answer

vikas gupta May 6, 2012

Q: Where can single men over the age of 50 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-50 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go ...

Car language

Sunny May 6, 2012

A daughter asked her dad "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand.
He said that I have a beautiful chassis, 2 lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."

Dad says "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and pulls out his dipstick to check the oil,
 I will give him such a service that his motor will cease and his exhaust will fall off"

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For Girls

Ragini Khanna May 6, 2012

FOR GIRLS:

If u have curves, u r fat
If u don’t, then u r flat...

If u wear make-up, u r fake
If u don’t, u r behenji...

If u dress up u r show off,
If u don’t bother, u r a villager...

If u say what u think, u r rude
If u say nothing, u have attitude problem...

If u cry sometimes, u r a Drama Queen
If u don’t, u r emotionless...

If u have many guy friends, u r cheap
If u don’t, u r narrow minded...

If u stand-up for urself, u r disrespectful
It’s like you can’t do anything these days without being labeled...

so why bother!?!?!?!?!

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Computerised Diagnostics - Funny

Sunny May 6, 2012

One day Joe complained to his friend, 'My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go to the doctor.'

His friend advised 'Don't do that.

There is a computer at the drugstore that will diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.'

Joe figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with urine and deposited the $10.

The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing.

After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which ...

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Nokia Launched Asha 202 Touch and Type Dual SIM Phone Priced at 4,149

Shilpa May 5, 2012

Nokia India has announced the launch of its latest addition to the Nokia Asha series. The Nokia Asha 202 is a dual SIM with touch and type features. The Nokia Asha 202 also come with offer of 100 MB data per month for six months absolutely free.

The Nokia Asha 202 come with aimed by Nokia to cover large dual SIM market in India. The phone also suitable for all users who looking for cost effective web browsing with new Nokia Browser v2.0, social networking, gaming and entertainment in one package. The phone also come with variety of features and services pre-loaded like the ...

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Super Easy UC.bin Offline Translator For Mobile

Shilpa May 5, 2012

Translating UC Browser always a hard job with lots of strings and values to first get English words form Google Translator and then change all them one by one... Ah, I'm tired! But now some excellent efforts made this super easy to translate UC.bin in no time and using your mobile even without internet!

Here a new very useful tool for all UC Translators, experts or newbies. This new UC.bin offline translator tool will reduce almost 95% of your work, time and money with far better results than other popular translating methods. You can use this to translate UC Browser in English, Russian , Hindi, Bengali, Indonesian, ...

Herbal Remedy For Blood Deficiency, Natural Iron Supplement

Dr Easton May 4, 2012

Blood deficiency is a common health disorder found among women. At present, you can find hundreds of herbal remedies in market for treating blood deficiency or anemia. In order to reduce the risk of blood deficiency, it is recommended to include a good amount of blood nourishing and iron rich food items in diet schedule. This reduces iron loss during heavy monthly periods and prevents the risk of fatigue due to deficiency in blood. For attaining best result, it is also advised to include food sources like wheat grass and spirulina in diet schedule. If left unconsidered, persisting blood deficiency problem can lead way to ...

How To Be A Good Friend

Sunny May 4, 2012

It is said that people are not calculated according to the number of friends they have, yes, some people they are friends. It is very difficult to have a good friend to others and a reliable everywhere. It will be difficult to win the love, appreciation and trust of others, unless and until you have the basic quality and features as one of being a good friend .

Qualities Of Being A Good Friend

What You Are: --

To be accepted by others around you, do not try to be someone that you do not. Be yourself. Let yourself be known and accepted for the performance of yourself, ...

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The Indian Elections-New York Times

Sunny May 3, 2012

It is truly the greatest show on Earth, an ode to a diverse and democratic ethos, where 700 million + of humanity vote, providing their small part in directing their ancient civilization into the future. It is no less impressive when done in a neighborhood which includes de-stabilizing and violent Pakistan, China, and Burma.

Its challenges are immense, more so probably than anywhere else, particularly in development and fending off terrorism -- but considering these challenges and its neighbors, it is even more astounding that the most diverse nation on Earth, with hundreds of languages, all religions and cultures, is not only surviving, but thriving.

The nation ...

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Why You Should Choose EBriks as IT Partner

Seo May 2, 2012

SEO is a very crucial and important online marketing technique. It helps in enhancing the visibility of your website in major search engines via different methods. When your site gains higher ranking, it will gain the potential get more number of visitors every single day. In brief, you will earn more revenue by selling more products.

Online business owners have become alert of the significance of SEO for their business and this has led them to seek the help of professional SEO service providers such as EBriks to obtain their desired results. You need to choose the best one among the lot to be your ...

Herbal Remedy For Muscular Weakness, Health Rejuvenator Supplement

Jhon Napier May 1, 2012

Muscular weakness, medically termed as myasthenia is a commonly found health disorder formed as a result of neurological, muscular or metabolic disorders. Causes leading way to the formation of muscular weakness vary from one person to another. Some among the common causes giving rise to the risk of this health disorder include stroke, dermatomyositis, hyperthyroidism and low level of potassium in blood. According to the cause, muscle weakness can affect single or group of muscles. Severe pain, cramping and atrophy are some main symptoms shown as a result of weakness. Depending upon the actual cause of problem, it may also accompany by other symptoms like ...

Herbal Remedy For Low Immunity, Natural Immune Booster Supplement For Men And Women

Jhon Napier May 1, 2012

Immune system plays a vital role in maintaining the health and wellbeing of person. It functions by preventing the action of microorganisms and reducing the risk of infectious diseases. Several factors play key rolesin forming low immunity troubles. Common causes reported for the formation of low immunity troubles include malnutrition, HIV, inflammatory bowel disease and neutropenia. Symptoms shown as a result of low immunity troubles vary from one person to another. Frequent cold, frequent flu, sores and swollen lymph glands are some common symptoms shown by a person suffering from low immunity. Today, you have lots of herbal remedies for curing low immunity troubles. In ...

Laughter

Ragini Khanna May 1, 2012

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further

Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck: Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet. Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn't believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn't ...

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Smart Answers

Ragini Khanna May 1, 2012

1- Principal : Are u chewing gum?
Student : No i m human being...:

2- Wife :we are having mother for dinner tonight?
Husband : Make sure she is well cooked

3- Father :shameful results! Do u always get such low marks?
Son : No, only when i give exams

4- Guest :Will these stairs take me to the 2nd floor?
Boy :No, u'll have to walk as well

5- Girl : I have changed my mind.
Boy :Thank God! Does the new one  work ?

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New drugs coming out

Sunny May 1, 2012

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.  Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin & Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.  After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage ...

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