Fun Articles

Computerised Diagnostics - Funny

Sunny May 6, 2012

One day Joe complained to his friend, 'My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go to the doctor.'

His friend advised 'Don't do that.

There is a computer at the drugstore that will diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.'

Joe figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with urine and deposited the $10.

The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing.

After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which ...

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Woman keeps captured burglar as sex slave

vikas gupta Aug 6, 2011

Crime and punishment has been turned on its head in Russia, where a burglar was tied up and used as a sex slave by his intended victim. She owns a hair salon, but could use some help with her makeup.

The Daily Mail reports Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police he entered the hair salon of Olga Zajac, 28, and received a single debilitating blow to the head by the blonde black belt karate expert.

Zajac dragged her semi-conscious prey to a back room, stripped him, tied him up with hair dryer cable, force fed him nothing but water and Viagra while using him as a sex slave for three days.

Punjabi ABC - Funny

lovely Aug 1, 2011

This one's not just for Punjabis but for all those who have faced 'Punjlish'.

  • A is for Aiscreame
  • B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your butt. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or
  • whatever.
  • C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. 'Defence Cloney'.
  • D is for the proverbial 'Dangar da Puttar'
  • E is for Expanditure, the spending of money
  • F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

A boy and a girl were in love

Shilpa Jul 23, 2011

When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them .

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home thru a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."

So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple next day went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot.

Great Answers

Cute Girl May 15, 2011

Teacher :"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in English."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.

Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.

THE FUNNY NEW MATHEMETICS

bopanna Mar 19, 2011

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"

FUNNY CLIMAX

bopanna Mar 19, 2011

A WOMEN WRITING IN HER DIARY :-

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends

all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing" I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u too". When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. So I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

Funny Driving Styles of the world

bopanna Mar 19, 2011

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window.

- Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn

- Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator...

- Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror

Calculation Marwadi style

Sunny Jul 4, 2010

Wedding INVESTMENT: [Average 30 yrs]
Rs.20,00,000 Marriage expenses
Rs.30,000 Monthly expenditure
Rs.3,000 Wife's monthly maintenance

RETURNS:[SEX>
First 5 yrs Weekly 3 Times
Next 5 yrs Weekly 1 Time
Next 10 yrs Once in 15 days
Next 10 yrs Once in a month

Can you hear me?

Sunny Feb 18, 2010

Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church.

One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation.

He took Charlie aside and questioned him.

Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.

The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can't hear you."

Are we becoming less by the day ?

Sunny Feb 13, 2010

21st Century.... Are we becoming less by the day ?

Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless

The baloonist

lovely Feb 4, 2010

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximatly 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes North Latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes West Longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

Terrible Situation & Amazing Solution !!

Cute Girl Feb 4, 2010

The phone rings. The lady of the house answers, "Yes? "

"Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking"

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks.

"Well, one Mr. Ward has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease (related to memory) and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is"

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What is the difference between Saali & Wife

Sunny Feb 3, 2010

Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is Dhamaka
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake, Wife is earth QUAKE

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Smart Answers -2009

Rekha Feb 2, 2010

SMART ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead..'

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