Jokes Articles

Laughter

Ragini Khanna May 1, 2012

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further

Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck: Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet. Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn't believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn't ...

Tagged with

Daughter in law's Revenge...

rekhasalian Jun 9, 2011

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the Skin came from and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

FUNNY JOKES

Sunny May 21, 2011

Baaziger:
"Kuch pane ke liye bhi kuch khona padta hai, aur kuch pa kar khone wale ko Baziger kehte hain".

Bhaji Ghar:
"Pet bharne ke liye kuch khana padta hai , aur kuch khane ki cheezien bechne wali jaga ko Bhaji Ghar kehte hain."

Mohabbatien:
"Ek ladki thi dewani si , Ek ladke pe woh marti thi , nazren jhuka ke, sharma ke , galion se guzrti thi , chori chori chupke chupke chitthiyan likha karti thi, kuch kehna tha shayad us ko , jane kis se darti thi,jab bhi milti thi mujh se , mujh se poocha karti thi, yeh pyar kaise hota hai , yeh pyar kaise hota hai , aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha"

Where am I?

James May 16, 2011

A helicopter was flying around above Bangalore when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to Bengaluru airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

Panties

vikas gupta May 16, 2011

There were three black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time.

The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'al but I'm gunna wear me sum hot pink panties beefo I gets ondat plane."

"Why you gonna wear dem fo?", the other two asked.

The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonnafind me first."

The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floe esant orange panties."

"Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked.

Stupid Jokes

Ragini Khanna May 12, 2011

Santa to Pappu:Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

The Lie Detector

Sunny Feb 21, 2010

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late...

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" Asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project" said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

Microsoft Waiter

Sunny Feb 20, 2010

I have a Microsoft waiter

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Telangana Movie Titles Enjoy

pavan Feb 7, 2010

These will be titles of some of the Telugu movies when dubbed in Telangana.

1. Narasimha Naidu - Narsing Yadav
2. Parugu - Uruku
3. Akkada Ammayi Ikkada Abbayi - Aada Pori Eeda Poragaadu
4. Siddu from Srikakulam - Mallesh from Malkajgiri
5. Chaala baagundi - Zabardastundi

6. Avunanna Kadanna - Au Malla Le Malla
7. Sankranti - Bonalu
8. Ammayilu Abbayilu - Porlu Poragaallu
9. Palnati Brahmanaidu - Karimnagar KCR
10. Naari Naari Naduma Murari - Pori Pori Madhyana Tiwari

Are you Married?

Shilpa Feb 7, 2010

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!

Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever

************

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.

************

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Mahabharat Movie team Committed Sucide

lovely Feb 6, 2010

A Team comprising of a Writer, a Producer, a Director, etc applied to the Government of India with a Script to produce a Movie on Mahabharat.

All of them committed suicide later and the reason is very obvious as.......

Subject: Mahabharata

To: The Writer, Film Director & Film Producer, Mumbai

Ref: Film story submitted by you, regarding financing of films by Government of India , Your letter dt. ............. ......... .

The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the Government has examined your proposal for financing a film called''Mahabharat' .

Baptist Cowboy

Ragini Khanna Feb 1, 2010

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

Tagged with

CBI's Recruitment

Sunny Feb 1, 2010

The CBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him:
"Do you love your wife?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Do you love your country?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"What do you love more, your wife or your country?"
"My country, sir."
"Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next room and kill her."
The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes. He comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He puts down the gun and leaves.

Tagged with

A Perfect Loving and Caring Wife

Rekha Jan 31, 2010

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor´s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don´t do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don´t burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.

Don´t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs.

Tagged with

Seven Reasons

Rekha Jan 31, 2010

Seven Reasons Why Airplanes Are Easier To Live With Than Women:

1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.

2. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

3. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

4. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

5. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

« 1 2 3 4 5 6 9