Before marriage.... .

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!

Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever

************

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.

************

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

• Always expect the right to have an orgasm during sex. If he does, you can too! It's only fair - sex is something both of you do, so you both get to reap the rewards! Besides, many men find their wife's orgasm to be as emotionally rewarding as their own, many times more rewarding - it's not a competition!
• Remember to take time for yourself as well!
• Accept his faults, and embrace your own.
• Do your share of the work, not just the housework.
• Have a cheery disposition. No one wants to be around a crabby person.
• Learn something new, and encourage him to learn it with you.
• Work out financial plans together - maybe open a joint bank account or write your will together. If he won't do this, don't be afraid to save money for yourself. Do not rely on your husband to support you should he die or divorce you. Be a smart, modern woman, but a balanced wife in a good marriage does not "start saving for the divorce the day after your wedding" - if you expect to get divorced from day one, you probably will!

Steps

1. Enjoy pleasing him.Laughter keeps a marriage strong. Men like to be appreciated even after you've married them. To do so well, be a well-rounded, pleasing person yourself.
2. Have as your goal for each small interaction of your day, to leave him with a good feeling. Be supportive. Be nice. Be kind.
3. Listen to his day and share yours. Being married also means being intimate. Intimacy does not always have to include sex. Intimacy is listening to one another and feeling comfortable enough to tell one another anything.
4. Support him and try to understand his needs, a man likes nothing more than an understanding and an equally compromising wife.
5. Don't show him even the mildest forms of contempt. Contempt is poison in a relationship. It is fine to disagree with him, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling.

Despite fast losing ground in the state politics because of his double standard on Telangana, Telugu Desam party president N Chandrababu Naidu is taking every care in not losing the grip over N T Rama Rao family.

The marriage proposal for Jr NTR was made by Naidu himself, so that the family would not slip out of his control in future even if the party plunges into doldrums. Naidu knows that there is a wide gap of 10 years in the ages of Lakshmi Pranathi and Jr NTR and yet, came out with the proposal only to ensure that the young hero would remain under his control.

The girl is said to be madly in love with Jr NTR and she had conveyed the same through her father Narne Srinivas, who happens to be husband of Naidu’s niece Mallika. Now that Jr NTR’s mother is being accepted as one of the family members of NTR, there was no objection to anybody. And Naidu saw it as an excellent opportunity to retain his hold on the family.

Trust, understanding, respect and bonding, what else couples can ask for in a healthy relationship to form the foundation for a lasting union.

But little do the couples know that even the most wonderful relationship can go for a toss if love starts fading away. In today's modern times with a hectic workflow to maintain, couples often take each other for granted. And very often, they fail to realise the importance of the little things in a relationship that add the much needed zing in their otherwise boring and dull relationship.

It could be something as simple as saying 'I love you' or wooing your mate with a surprise gift – all that matters is the urge to show that you care and love. These small love gestures might not seem too precious in a relationship, but they can leave your partner craving for more.

In the film, Uday Chopra devices a computer software on which any operating system is compatible. The script that he writes is as much compatible with any operative feel-good film, frequently coming out from the Yash Raj banner. The geeky loser-in-love act that he attempts is not much different from what SRK did in bade bhaiya Aditya Chopra's Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (though thankfully there isn't an image change).

Like most romantic comedies, the basic problem with Pyaar Impossible is that in the first ten minutes of the film you can predict the last ten minutes. Seven years since college, nerdy Abhay Sharma (Uday Chopra) is still in fancy-love with the campus beauty Alisha (Priyanka Chopra) whom he never dared to speak with. His software program is plagiarized by Varun (Dino Morea) who is now selling it to a Singapore company.

Five Things Single Women Hate To Hear

1) What’s Said: “Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.”

What’s Heard: “This can come off sounding like you’re passing judgment on effort,” says Anderson. “It’s better to encourage a single person to explore new relationships to the extent they are comfortable and to extend themselves in ways that feel natural and not forced.”

2) What’s Said: “Wear more makeup.”

What’s Heard: More than implying that the search for Mr. Right is as easy as brushing a spot of color onto the cheeks, this comment offends further by actually attacking a person’s core identity.

“A woman presents herself according to what she defines as meaningful. Whether her style is glamorous belle or au naturelle, every woman should be allowed to be herself. There’s a man out there who is going to be attracted to her style, whatever it is. If she’s presenting herself as anyone other than who she really is, that’s false advertising and that’s going to backfire.”

1) "My ex did the exact same thing!"

Whether it's a desirable resemblance (they both always hold the door open) or a less desirable one (neither one showers often enough), your boyfriend never wants to hear that he's anything like your ex. Ever.

You don’t want him to feel like you're always comparing the two of them, do you? Think about it: Do you really want him to imagine that he does other things just like your ex? Doubtful. Plus, he might think you're still hung up on your former flame.

Either way, a comment like this won’t do much for his self-esteem. So the next time you experience boyfriend deja-vu, keep it to yourself.

2) "Helen's pregnant ... Shhhh"