I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.

She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in..

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly.

'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply.

'This is very important,' the young woman continued. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.'

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

Everyone wants to know how to make a woman reach orgasm and satisfy the maximum. The usual procedure is that when a man ejaculates, he defines the peak of women feel.

A complete list must meet all the demands of the erotic body and soul and should not in any way be neglected or damaged. If a man only thinks about his own gratification as often happens, the act will become sad. Each stimulus of a woman who does not end in orgasm is a loss. Such repetitive injuries can lead to damage the body and mind of women.

Some men use in and out method during sexual relation to prevent conception. The man quickly drew back his male organ from the vagina when he feels the onset of ejaculation. Ejaculation occurs, therefore, outside the vagina. To some extent, it achieves relief and relaxation, but is harmful to women. She is the woman to become cold and passive.

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it .
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend . And if u don't, Tomorrow can be too late .

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you .
And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .

If you really want to kiss somebody... kiss her/him.
Maybe that person wants a kiss from you, too . And if you don't kiss her/him today,tomorrow can be too late .

If you still love a person that you think has forgetten you... tell her/him.
Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.

Before marriage.... .

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'

MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?'the woman said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'If you must know, I make RS50 an hour.'SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow RS25?'The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities. '

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys love flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.