A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a Ruppe coin.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a Tea stall in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Tea cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, she hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the Tea stall without saying a word.

MARRIAGE UNDER INCOME TAX ACT

If you like a girl, propose her for marriage and follow the following procedure:

1) send a notice u/s 142(1)(ii) to the girl for submiiting her consent over your proposal

2) send a show cause notice u/s 144 to her father to give reason for not marrying her

3) pass the assesment order & raise demand u/s 156

4) if ur father in law does not deposite within due time, he shall be the assesse in default u/s 220

The surgeon said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches of 20 years.

The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, your headache is caused by your testicles pressing on your spine and the pressure going to your head.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. But Joe had no life as such for the past 20 years anyway. It was ruined by this nasty headache he suffered day and night. Joe had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, Joe was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, 'My son is a priest'. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him? 'Father'.

The second Catholic man chirps, 'My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace''.

The third Catholic gent says, 'My son is a cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'.

The fourth Catholic man chirps, 'My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness''.

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal! To kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

A Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"

She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got herup bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride inthe park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a goon every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later,her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn,cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed intobed.

Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

Preeto: Darling, aaj kuch aisa karo ke mere paseenay nikal jaayen!
Banta gets up and switches off the AC & fan.

Preeto comes nude in front of theguests while serving the halwa.
Banta shouts: What’s this?
Preeto: Recipe book me likha tha ‘Serve hot without dressing’

Banta: Ek white colour ka condom dena.
Shopkeeper: White hi kyun?
Banta: Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai, afsos karne jaana hai.

Learning Alfabet The Punjaabi Way!

A is for Aiscreame

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your butt. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. 'Defence Cloney'.

D is for the proverbial 'Dangar da Puttar'

E is for Expanditure, the spending of money

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building