I have a Microsoft waiter

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

These will be titles of some of the Telugu movies when dubbed in Telangana.

1. Narasimha Naidu - Narsing Yadav
2. Parugu - Uruku
3. Akkada Ammayi Ikkada Abbayi - Aada Pori Eeda Poragaadu
4. Siddu from Srikakulam - Mallesh from Malkajgiri
5. Chaala baagundi - Zabardastundi

6. Avunanna Kadanna - Au Malla Le Malla
7. Sankranti - Bonalu
8. Ammayilu Abbayilu - Porlu Poragaallu
9. Palnati Brahmanaidu - Karimnagar KCR
10. Naari Naari Naduma Murari - Pori Pori Madhyana Tiwari

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!

Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever

************

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.

************

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

A Team comprising of a Writer, a Producer, a Director, etc applied to the Government of India with a Script to produce a Movie on Mahabharat.

All of them committed suicide later and the reason is very obvious as.......

Subject: Mahabharata

To: The Writer, Film Director & Film Producer, Mumbai

Ref: Film story submitted by you, regarding financing of films by Government of India , Your letter dt. ............. ......... .

The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the Government has examined your proposal for financing a film called''Mahabharat' .

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The CBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him:
"Do you love your wife?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Do you love your country?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"What do you love more, your wife or your country?"
"My country, sir."
"Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next room and kill her."
The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes. He comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He puts down the gun and leaves.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor´s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don´t do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don´t burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.

Don´t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs.

Seven Reasons Why Airplanes Are Easier To Live With Than Women:

1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.

2. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

3. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

4. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

5. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500. "Rs. 2500.", the man said.
"Well what does he do? "He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.