Askmen.com published a story this week about how to transform your needy, clingy girlfriend back into the cool chick she seemingly was when you first met her. Now, before you get all offended, let us tell you two things: 1) the author was a woman (by the name of Sharalyn Hartwell) and 2) we actually agree with her.
Hartwell's argument: That a woman becomes needy only when a man stops making her feel secure in the relationship, and that there are five very simple things a man can do to bring his girlfriend's sense of security back. Among them:
Do what you say you will do. Call when you say you'll call, make her believe you're a loyal boyfriend with a sense of follow-through.
Randomly clue her in. Share what you're thinking when she's not probing you for information, tell her about your thoughts and dreams, make her believe she's worthy of your secret thoughts.
Not out of sight, out of mind. Give her a call or drop her a text when you're out with your friends to let her know that she's on your mind even when you're apart.
Maintain contact when out together. Catch her eye from across the room you're out together at a party, let her know that you know you have the best date in the room.
Prove you're observant. Let her know that you notice her appearance, give her suprise compliments, make it clear you appreciate her. Inner Beauty: What Men Don't Tell You
We like what Hartwell is saying to all the men out there who date clingy women. We think that the needy, clingy women of the world could use some tips of their own, however (after all, the best transformation techniques are those we can oversee ourselves, right?).
Have your own life. Remember what you were like when you and your boyfriend first met? You had friends, hobbies, and lots of things that were not centered around him. Make sure you're still keeping up with those things. Doing so will make you happier, more interesting to him, and less likely to fixate entirely on your relationship. In Love? Don't Forget Your Friends
Schedule things out. Having a weekly date night, a monthly day trip, or regular evening text session on both your schedules can give you the sense that things are less amorphous and provide both of you with something to look forward to.
Tame those "what if?" demons. Stop thinking "what if?" every time you're apart (What if he sees a prettier girl while he's at the bar with his friends? What if he's not calling because he's on the phone with his ex? What if, what if, what if). Whenever your anxious thoughts start to spin out of control, remember that "what if?" is a lot less important than WHAT IS. And then remind yourself of what the reality of your relationship is.
Remember that you're great. You're beautiful. You're smart. You're fun. If you weren't, then he wouldn't have started dating you in the first place. Remind yourself from time-to-time of just how amazing you are. Regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, it will make you feel more secure and centered.
Tell him outright. If the reason you're acting clingy is because he's treating you like you don't matter, then it's time for a talk. It may be the case that he doesn't realize how he's making you feel. It may be that he's just not into you anymore. Tell him, and if he refuses to work on making things better, get out.
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