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Sister Margaret had spent weeks preparing the first grade children for their First Communion, stressing the solemnity and importance of this sacrament. Much to her chagrin, during Mass on the big day, one boy in the front row was talking and giggling nonstop. Finally, unable to put
up with it any longer, she whispered to the lad seated next to her, "Please go up there and tell that one he's done enough talking and had better stop, right now!" Without question, the boy rose and walked to the front... and delivered Sister Margaret's message to the surprised
priest in the middle of his sermon!

Customer: "Do you have any cockroaches?" Clerk: "Yes, we sell them to the fishermen." "I would like 20,000 of them." "What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?" "I'm moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it."

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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