You've got your car gleaming, your muscles flexing and a stash of pick-up lines ready to go. Think that you'll attract hordes of women with this tried and true approach? Think again. What men think women want and what really interests women are two different things. If you're aiming to meet a woman who will appreciate you for who you are, you need to be aware of the impression that you create.
"I used to dress up in flashy, designer clothes whenever I went to a club," says Ricardo, an easy-going software engineer. "I thought that's what I had to do to get women but it isn't really me. I did get attention, but from superficial, flaky girls that I never dated more than twice."
Remember to be yourself. If you love to wear khakis and pullovers, don't wear suits every time you go out. If downing beers and burgers thrills you, don't pretend to like martinis and escargot. Women like men who are comfortable with themselves. Even if all the women appear to be interested in only a certain type, there will always be someone who likes your type.
"I know women like aggressive men so I'm always very direct when I meet them," says Tony, a gregarious waiter. "I make sure I carry the conversation." Translation: Tony is overbearing. This does not attract women, it repels them. As a talkative guy, Tony meets lots of women, but he dates very few because he never allows them to get a word in. It's great to be confident and friendly but remember that it takes more than one person for a conversation. Ask her about herself and her opinions. Listen when she replies, don't shift your attention, thinking about what you will say next. Women love men who are good listeners.
Good listening skills can also help you develop an eye for detail. Does she always sing along to a certain artist on the radio? Get her the CD. Has she expressed an interest in Asian culture? Take her to an exhibit on the Far East. Thoughtfulness and acknowledgment of her interests tells her that you are paying attention and value her opinions. Women tend to appreciate this more than any expensive trinket or showy excursion.
"I always got lots of women because I drive a fancy car and have a huge expense account," says Randy, a thirty-something record industry executive. "It was great for awhile, until I realized that they weren't interested in me, only what I could give them. Now I don't tell women what I do or let them see my car until I've gotten to know them a little." This is a very important point. Never use your job or money to try to impress women. If you want them to be impressed by you, reveal your personality, spirit and interests, not what you have. This will take you a lot further in terms of meeting a sincere woman than any fast sports car ever will.
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