It can be hard to move on without him once he has indicated that he is through in the relationship. Unless you have seen this coming for quite some time, chances are your ex still has feelings for you (even if to you he claims he doesn't.) If you want your ex back, there are a few things you need to be aware of.
First, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop thinking you can't live without him because that's just not true. It's painful to be without someone when you have been with them for so long but life does have to move on . This is important to keep in mind as you begin to deal with the other issues in your life.
Second, stop talking to your ex for a while. That means don't call or intentionally try to see him. Give them time to miss you. It's a start that they are still asking about you through mutual friends. However, just because you know this information, don't intentionally go see him. You want them to miss you. How long should you wait? A month is sufficient enough.
Third, do some soul searching and find out how come you feel the way you do without him in your life. Do you have reasons to believe he is cheating on you? Have you caught him in the act? Have you been cheated on previously before your current ex? Emotional baggage from previous relationships can hurt current ones. So it's time to evaluate things and find out what is causing all these trust issues? Are there reasons you are checking his phone? Pure jealousy isn't always the cause.
Fourth, during this time of space, do something to improve yourself. Give yourself a makeover... both physically and emotionally. Make yourself more attractive and confident. You have to remember that damage from the past relationship doesn’t go away overnight. You have to work on fixing them. Why not do it with some style?
Fifth, one of the biggest things women who are jealous or insecure fail to realize is that their ex has a past. He has female friends and some may be his ex. Does this mean he wants them back? Absolutely not. Yet, it's history that he chooses not to ignore. Besides having friends of the opposite can be good for your relationship.
Sixth, get out with some friends. Go to the club scenes once you have gotten all your makeovers. If you don’t feel like it, force yourself in the beginning. Before too long you’ll be having fun before you know it.
Seventh, once you've been through this period of separation without him in your life, don't go running back, begging and pleading for another chance. Be polite and calm. You get better results that way instead of acting like an insane woman he regretted being with in the first place. You will have to prove to him that you have indeed change. What good is it if you get him back but fall back into your old habits? You need to change for good.
Lastly, be prepared to move on without him in your life. Sometimes the damage that has been done is more than both of you can fix. While you may still love him, it's not enough to fix the damage. It may be hard to do but it can be done.
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