What did the tree say to the woodpecker? "You bore me."
Why did the kid put his clock in the oven. He wanted to have a hot time.
How does a boat show affection? It hugs the shore.
How can you prove that a horse has six legs? A horse has forelegs in front and two behind.
What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing. It just shuts up.
What is the difference between an angry crowd and a cow with a sore throat? One boos madly and the moos badly. (Jim Ertner)
Why are mooos afraid ? Because they're all cow words. (Bob Ford)
How did the lumberjack use the computer? He logged on!
What kind of shoes should Barach Obama and John McCain wear? Running shoes
What did the fly say to the flypaper? "I'm stuck on you."
How did Jonah feel when the great fish swallowed him? Down in the mouth.
Why did the Pilgrims cross the Atlantic in the "Mayflower"? It was too far to swim.
What is the difference between a unicorn and lettuce? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast. (Jim Ertner)
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