Joke Time
Shilpa • onJokes 11 years ago • 3 min read

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."


Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!


Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?

Santa: Very long!


Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?

Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.


Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next...

Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.


Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.

The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?

Santa: Dusri side tera pyo lagayega kya?


Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?

Santa: Birla cement.

Banta: Kyun?

Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.


Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.


Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.

Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?


Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?


Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.

Santa: I think I'll take the money.


Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?

Banta: Me too, after u leave.


A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?

Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...


Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?

A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.


Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u'll die.

Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?


Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!

Santa: Oye, this was a missed call


Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.

Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman


Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.

Banta: What's he studying?"

Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!


Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "

A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."


Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.


What's Ford?

Santa: Gaadi.

What's Oxford?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi


Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.

Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.


Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.

Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.

Santa: I didn't say he got out.


Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!


Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"

Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

Kiss
Wife

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