Love Letter && Hate Letter
Sunny • onGeneral 11 years ago • 2 min read

To [THE ONE I LOVE],

I love you. I love you. Oh, how I do so love you.

My love is pure. My love is fierce. My love is effervescent. I'm unable to explain why it fits this last adjective, but it does. I cannot deny how truly bubbly and nose-tingling my love for you is. It is a well-shaken soda bottle of love which resides in me.

If my love had weight, it could be mistaken for a sumo wrestler. If my love had sex, it would be the town slut. A true nymphomaniac Japanese wrestling giant; that's my love.

I hope by now it's become obvious how large and unwieldy my love for you is. In fact, it's of such vast size as to be practically immeasurable. Or in other words, it is of measurable dimensions, but so big, so cumbersome that the time and effort required to measure it far exceeds the limits of my life.

To finish, this will probably not be my only love letter to you. I will write again, because my love is never ending and as mentioned above, very heavy. Love,

[YOUR NAME HERE]

To [THE ONE I HATE],

I hate you. I hate you. Oh, how I do so hate you. My hate is pure. My hate is fierce. My hate is effervescent. I'm unable to explain why it fits this last adjective, but it does. I cannot deny how truly bubbly and nose-tingling my hate for you is. It is a well-shaken soda bottle of hate which resides in me.

If my hate had weight, it could be mistaken for a sumo wrestler. If my hate had sex, it would be the town slut. A true nymphomaniac Japanese wrestling giant; that's my hate.

I hope by now it's become obvious how large and unwieldy my hate for you is. In fact, it's of such vast size as to be practically immeasurable. Or in other words, it is of measurable dimensions, but so big, so cumbersome that the time and effort required to measure it far exceeds the limits of my life.

To finish, this will probably be my only hate letter to you. I may write again, but fortunately my hate is very short-lived. It's probably all the weight.

Kindest regards, [YOUR NAME HERE]


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