A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now ...The Alphabet 2007
A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I' d rather it be low, I is for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low, O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears! U is for urinary; big troubles with flow, V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X- ray, and what might be found. Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!
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