As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineer and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true. Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying shopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children. Every year I decide to go to India. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India. The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA. My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA. I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a decent 2-bedroom flat in a well-developed locality. Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.
I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'
I am still searching for an answer................!!!!
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2007","className":"text-gray-500 dark:text-gray-400","children":"Sep 24, 2007"}] 15:["$","p",null,{"className":"text-gray-700","children":"repliiii: really true buddy.....there is much more to life than what you do.....you keep on dying for things and cram for them.......ultimatleey ........\n\nwe forget to live the lie that the Almighty Lord has most mercifully given us.......let us all lrean from this example......\ngood luck to allll!!!!!!!!\n\nsidheart"}] 16:["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center mt-4 space-x-4","children":["$","button",null,{"type":"button","className":"flex items-center font-medium text-sm text-gray-500 hover:underline dark:text-gray-400","children":[["$","svg",null,{"className":"mr-1.5 w-3 h-3","aria-hidden":"true","xmlns":"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg","fill":"currentColor","viewBox":"0 0 20 18","children":["$","path",null,{"d":"M18 0H2a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v9a2 2 0 0 0 2 2h2v4a1 1 0 0 0 1.707.707L10.414 13H18a2 2 0 0 0 2-2V2a2 2 0 0 0-2-2Zm-5 4h2a1 1 0 1 1 0 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18:T40d,data:image/svg+xml;utf8,%3Csvg%20width%3D%2232%22%20height%3D%2232%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2032%2032%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20role%3D%22img%22%20aria-label%3D%22Avatar%20for%20Raj%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Crect%20width%3D%22100%25%22%20height%3D%22100%25%22%20fill%3D%22hsl(195%2C%2070%25%2C%2055%25)%22%20rx%3D%223.2%22%20%2F%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Ctext%20x%3D%2250%25%22%20y%3D%2250%25%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20font-family%3D%22sans-serif%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20font-size%3D%2212.8%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20font-weight%3D%22bold%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20fill%3D%22%23FFFFFF%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20text-anchor%3D%22middle%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20dominant-baseline%3D%22central%22%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20style%3D%22user-select%3A%20none%3B%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20R%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%3C%2Ftext%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3C%2Fsvg%3E19:Tab1,2 bedroom flat: Hi! read your piece, it does sound melancholy...My intention is not to cut-down the piece, but what I observe is somewhere the article intends to put the responsibility on US for all things that happened in your life. I can understand the tribulations you've faced, but the bottomline is all that happened was a possible outcome of somewhere you not priortising or acting, on what you felt important. You were not able to be a stand and have a say in what really mattered in your life. You bascially chose the path that was open to you. You did not bother to look at opening new paths. I am not saying, it's easy, but then nobody guranteed that in the first place; not even the almighty. US was just conincidental to the entire process...It was just a mainfestation of your action. Wasn't the cause so to speak....Also, I think there's a bit of exaggeration here when you say with all your earning it wasn't possible to buy a decent apt. for yourself in pune. Well, unless one spends their career working full-time at a petrol station, then obviusly it won't be possible. But in your case you seem to be a smart guy, and therefore I would not buy into that excuse. Also, taking it further, I think the other drawback that compels us to undergo such horrible scenarios is that we as Indians are not confident of ourselves...I mean, how foolish is that excuse...that I could not get a leave for my parents furneral...I mean this talk suits a low-wage earner, who lives on hand-to-mouth job, and is on his last straw for survival. But when educated and smart people (because you think and write in an articulate manner) like yourselves make this sympathetic statements, I really feel sad for the state-of-afffairs of our talented people... All said and done, don't lose hope - It's good that you have finally come to see yourself objectively. What you can take up in life is how to build the confidence of our youth in India. You've lived in US, and you know what works in the global field. Use your knowledge to train these boys and girls, so that when they step out of their motherland, they do not undergo similar experiences; and you can become a luminary of hope and fulfillment, not only for them, but also to their parents. I think you owe it to them and also to their parents. Good Luck. PS: I want to thank you for giving me this chance to write this letter. I usually do not respond like this, but reading your note I felt I needed to write something. And My mail is not directly twoards you individually, but to the current state of our minds that we all find ourselves trapped in. To that extent, i read your mails as an eye-opener, and grateful that you shared your life with us. May God Bless Us All. Raj17:["$","div","78122938532246",{"className":"border-l-4 border-gray-200 pl-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center gap-2 mb-2","children":["$","address",null,{"className":"flex items-center mb-6 not-italic","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"inline-flex items-center text-sm text-gray-900 dark:text-white","children":[["$","img",null,{"className":"mr-3 w-8 h-8 rounded-full","src":"$18","alt":"Raj"}],["$","a",null,{"href":"/author/raj_73330090574230","rel":"author","className":"font-bold capitalize hover:underline dark:text-white","children":"Raj"}],["$","span",null,{"className":"mx-1 text-md text-gray-400 dark:text-gray-500","children":"·"}],"$undefined",["$","span",null,{"className":"mx-1 text-md text-gray-400 dark:text-gray-500","children":"·"}],["$","time",null,{"dateTime":"Thu Dec 07 2006","className":"text-gray-500 dark:text-gray-400","children":"Dec 7, 2006"}],"$undefined"]}]}]}],["$","p",null,{"className":"text-gray-700","children":"$19"}],"$L1a"]}] 1a:["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center mt-4 space-x-4","children":["$","button",null,{"type":"button","className":"flex items-center font-medium text-sm text-gray-500 hover:underline dark:text-gray-400","children":[["$","svg",null,{"className":"mr-1.5 w-3 h-3","aria-hidden":"true","xmlns":"http://www.w3.org/2000/svg","fill":"currentColor","viewBox":"0 0 20 18","children":["$","path",null,{"d":"M18 0H2a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v9a2 2 0 0 0 2 2h2v4a1 1 0 0 0 1.707.707L10.414 13H18a2 2 0 0 0 2-2V2a2 2 0 0 0-2-2Zm-5 4h2a1 1 0 1 1 0 2h-2a1 1 0 1 1 0-2ZM5 4h5a1 1 0 1 1 0 2H5a1 1 0 0 1 0-2Zm2 5H5a1 1 0 0 1 0-2h2a1 1 0 0 1 0 2Zm9 0h-6a1 1 0 0 1 0-2h6a1 1 0 1 1 0 2Z"}]}],"Reply"]}]}]