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7:T416,data:image/svg+xml;utf8,%3Csvg%20width%3D%2232%22%20height%3D%2232%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2032%2032%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20role%3D%22img%22%20aria-label%3D%22Avatar%20for%20Cute%20Girl%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Crect%20width%3D%22100%25%22%20height%3D%22100%25%22%20fill%3D%22hsl(183%2C%2067%25%2C%2047%25)%22%20rx%3D%223.2%22%20%2F%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%3Ctext%20x%3D%2250%25%22%20y%3D%2250%25%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20font-family%3D%22sans-serif%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20font-size%3D%2212.8%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20font-weight%3D%22bold%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20fill%3D%22%23FFFFFF%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20text-anchor%3D%22middle%22%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20dominant-baseline%3D%22central%22%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20style%3D%22user-select%3A%20none%3B%22%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20CG%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%3C%2Ftext%3E%0A%20%20%20%20%3C%2Fsvg%3E8:T2a91,<p>• Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?<br />
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.<br />
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?</p>
<p>• Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya  hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!</p>
<p>• Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"<br />
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!</p>
<p>• Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.<br />
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai.</p>
<p>• Santa: Oye tera vyah ho gya?<br />
Banta: Haan.<br />
Santa: Kuri naal?<br />
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?<br />
Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si !</p>
<p>• Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?</p>
<p>• Santa meets his old friend.<br />
Santa: A &amp; B, A &amp; B, A &amp; B, A &amp; B, A &amp; B.<br />
Friend: Oye, iska matlab?<br />
Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.</p>
<p>• Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.<br />
Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.<br />
Santa: Maine mana kiya that...<br />
Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!</p>
<p>• Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.<br />
Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.</p>
<p>• Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.<br />
Santa: Kaise?<br />
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'</p>
<p>• Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.<br />
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.</p>
<p>• Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao<br />
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!</p>
<p>• A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.<br />
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.</p>
<p>• Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.<br />
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand &amp; ends with left hand.</p>
<p>• Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?<br />
Banta: No<br />
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne<br />
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?<br />
Santa: Aaho<br />
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?</p>
<p>• Santa: Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika batao.<br />
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao.</p>
<p>• Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa<br />
rahe hain.<br />
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.</p>
<p>• I can kiss u without even touching u.<br />
Gal: U can't<br />
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki<br />
Gal: Ok<br />
Santa kisses her lips<br />
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya<br />
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs</p>
<p>• Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?<br />
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!</p>
<p>• Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.<br />
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.<br />
Santa: Kya naam hai.<br />
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name<br />
plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata</p>
<p>• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?<br />
Banta: Don't know.<br />
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house &amp; I never go 2 his!</p>
<p>• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?<br />
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.</p>
<p>• Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.<br />
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can't look at the menu also?</p>
<p>• Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?<br />
Banta: 1 Frog.<br />
Santa: Theek hai hor das?<br />
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa.</p>
<p>• Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.<br />
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.<br />
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.</p>
<p>• Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man next 2<br />
him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife.<br />
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn</p>
<p>• Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?<br />
Pappu: Pata nahi.<br />
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.<br />
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?<br />
Santa: Pata nahi.<br />
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.</p>
<p>• Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.<br />
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.<br />
Nurse- Kyon?<br />
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE<br />
DUGNA</p>
<p>• Santa talking on phone.<br />
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?<br />
Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...?<br />
Santa: Tumhari hai.</p>
<p>• Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son.<br />
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?<br />
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet.</p>
<p>• Santa's son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain.<br />
Banta's son: How?<br />
Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri ungli pakad lete<br />
hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat.</p>
<p>• Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest.<br />
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest.</p>
<p>• What's an adult joke?<br />
Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old.</p>
<p>• If u call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's younger sis &amp; elder sis?<br />
Santa: Minimum and Maximum</p>
<p>• Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle…<br />
Santa: Don't worry darling, I'm already married.</p>
<p>• Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.<br />
Banta: Wow, Kab?<br />
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.</p>
<p>• Pappu: Dad what's Sex?<br />
Santa gets tensed but explains everything.<br />
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school<br />
admission form?</p>
<p>• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.<br />
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?<br />
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!</p>
<p>• Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain?<br />
Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai?</p>
<p>• Santa eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from Constipation.<br />
Praying &amp; crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de.</p>
<p>• Santa went to a museum where he broke a statue.<br />
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.<br />
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si…</p>
<p>• Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.<br />
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.<br />
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi pe dhaka de doon?</p>
<p>• Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.<br />
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par.</p>
<p>• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?<br />
Rikshawala: 10 Rs<br />
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai<br />
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?<br />
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.</p>
<p>• Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.<br />
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu?</p>
<p>• Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar chuke si?<br />
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si.</p>
<p>• Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night &amp; said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.<br />
Santa fired in air 1st night &amp; shot her 2nd night.</p>
<p>• Boss: I'm giving u driver's job. Starting salary Rs. 3000, is it OK ?<br />
Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary?</p>
<p>• Santa &amp; Banta were looking at Egyptian mummy.<br />
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.<br />
Banta: Aaho, lorry number is also written... BC 1760 !!!.</p>
<p>• Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves U. It's only when U send her virgin. -Swami SexaaNand.</p>
<p>• Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?<br />
Santa: Niri Afwah !!!</p>
<p>• Santa to wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?<br />
Wife remain silent.<br />
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?<br />
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de.</p>
<p>• Santa Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.<br />
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?<br />
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya, khade-khade karni padi.</p>
<p>• Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he?<br />
Santa: Airhostess!</p>
<p>• Santa: Dr. saab, I'm suffering from loose motion.<br />
Doc: Kinni ku patli aundi hai?<br />
Santa: Dr. saab, samaj lao ke tusi us naal Grare kar sakde ho !</p>
<p>• Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife?<br />
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!</p>
<p>• The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.<br />
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"<br />
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"</p>
<p>• Santa: What's the name of ur car?<br />
Banta: I don't know but it starts with "T"<br />
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te<br />
Petrol nal start hundi hai.</p>
<p>• Santa, Banta &amp; Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.<br />
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?</p>
<p>• Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?<br />
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!</p>
<p>Pappu: Dad, main itna jawan kab banunga k main mummy ko bina bataye ghar se bahar ja sakoon..<br />
Santa: Beta, itna jawan to aaj tak main bhi nahi hua...</p>
<p>• Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.<br />
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!</p>
<p>• Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.<br />
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo.<br />
Banta utha or khud nachne laga..</p>
<p>• Teacher: Aisi kisi jagah ka naam batao jise banaya to aadmi ne hai par fir bhi wo wahan par ja nahi sakta? Papu: LADIES TOILET!</p>
<p>• Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic  inspector stopped him.<br />
Banta: I'm learning car driving.<br />
Inspector: Without d instructor?<br />
Banta: Correspondence Course!</p>
<p>• Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.<br />
Santa: Bolo.<br />
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!<br />
Santa: It's a gud News.<br />
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