What ‘Chak De’ Is Not About!!!!!
Shilpa • onEntertainment 11 years ago • 4 min read

The following article is an attempt to depict how the story presented in the recently released movie 'Chak De India' would have been presented if it was directed by some of the so called 'commercially successful directors' in Bollywood.

Pakistan team is led by Akbar Mahmud (Mukesh Tiwari) who talks like a terrorist. Through out the match, he irritates the Indian team talking about 1947, 1971, Kashmir and Partition. Half time and in walks the champion-forward of the Indian Hockey team, Kabir Khan (SRK). Four goals in a row by Kabir!! 5 minutes left in the match. That's when Akbar tries to bribe Kabir talking about religion, Kashmir etc etc. Kabir is unmoved. But Akbar does foul play, bribes the Pakistani Referee and makes him blow the whistle 5 minutes in advance before Kabir can draw the match.

The Womens Hockey team badly needs a coach. Currently the coach is Priya Mehta aided by her five year old kid Chintu. (Chintu knows everything about Hockey and Coaching even though he is just 5 years old. Add asthma to his list of diseases for some anxious moments later) But she has been found incompetent enough (which her ego is not ready to accept). The plan is to make her the assistant coach and get a new coach.

There are about 80 girls in the team camp from which 16 needs to be picked. In the self intro, who ever introduces themselves as from a state are directly disqualified after a speech on India and the unity in diversity in India. (Add: Gandhiji would be ashamed to see so many state names being uttered)

(It should not be forgotten that most of the players in the team are extras or girls from Shiamak Dhaavar's dance troup). There are hardly one or two known faces like Guddi Maruti (Goal Keeper) and one televison actress who plays the lead role in the TV series Kusumm. Lets call her Kusumm here too.

(There can be a sub-track where Kusumm is married and her in laws are not happy about her being in the World Cup team. So they come with some henchmen to Sydney but Kabir with the help of Pinky and Chintu beat up everyone and then gives a speech on second chance, India and the various states of India)

All geared up for the finals and its India Vs Pakistan (It doesn't matter whether Pakistan actually has a Womens hockey team). Here is a twist. The coach of the Pakistani team is again Akbar Mahmud, Kabir's old Nemesis from seven years earlier flashback sequence. He has a team now where all the girls eat, sleep and drink Kashmir and Partition.

Pinky decided enough is enough and she decides to get on the ground and obviously starts scoring. Since this is the final match, there is no importance for half time. India fights back and is now 4-5. That is when Akbar Mahmud finds out that Pinky is injured badly. He sends his thug (who is a girl and a player in the team) to injure her more. She hits Pinky on the wound again. But Pinky eats up the pain. WHY? For kabir!! After seven years, Kabir has a chance for revenge against Akbar and she wont stop him. She scores one more goal and extra time is also over. Soon it's the tie breaker.

Chintu has a father now. Yes, Kabir and Priya are married now. Pinky is waiting for a man in her life when Tushar Kapoor (Yes, the film might have been co-produced by Balaji films), who is the Men's Hockey team captain, comes to congratulate her.



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